Every since I started the new job people have asked me how it is going. The only word that describes it is overwhelmed.
I am overwhelmed by the nice welcome I have gotten from not only my staff but everyone in the district.
Overwhelmed by how much I don't know. I am a person who likes to know the answer to things and if I don't know the answer I know where to find it. I mean I am a librarian - isn't that what we do :-)...but right now I am lost. I don't have the answer to anything..
I know I will learn and I am not expected to know everything but it irks me to be so lost. It is hard when you come from a job where you know how to do everything to one that you don't know anything.
Everyone feels like this at times. We forget this feeling because it passes but and I am not sure we should.
When a new teachers start a job it is overwhelming. When students start at a new school year they also have the same feeling. We administrators need to remember that and do all we can to make the experience less overwhelming.
One of the main reasons I am blogging my journey is that I can look back at it later and remember the lessons I am learning a long the way. I hope the people reading this can also learn too.
Can I do this? This is the question that has been going through my head for weeks now but is louder in my last few days as a school librarian.
For over ten years, I have been a teacher librarian and have loved my job. I love the students, working with the staff and all the many different aspects of the job.
I have to admit that it has only been in the last 4 years that I feel like I know what I am doing. That I may actually be good at what I do. That I am not questioning every decision I make. I could be happy doing this job for a long time.
But tonight as I sit here I wonder why am I leaving? Am I making the correct decision? Will I be happy as an administrator? Will I really be able to have the impact that I want? Will I miss the students? Am I up for the many new challenges ahead of me? Will I make friends? Will they get my weird sense of humor? Am I in over my head?
These are the questions we all ask ourself during a transition to something new. The thing is we don't really talk about these fears. I think we should. We need to admit that we are fearful.
I love this quote "Recognizing and admitting fear is the first step to overcoming and neutralizing it."
Let's hope by putting my fears out there I can overcome them.
Any advice and suggestions are very welcome.
Elissa Malespina is the Middle School Teacher Librarian in Somerville and a Presenter, Author and much more. The views are my own. Find my full resume above.